


Breathe Again

by jylcie



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8781109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jylcie/pseuds/jylcie
Summary: My burden to bear is a love I can't carry anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is angst. Or, at least my try in angst. X.x
> 
> The lyrics in the story is from Sara Bareilles’s song, “Breathe Again”. Listen to the song for more feels!
> 
> Written in MC’s POV, towards Jumin.

I opened my eyes as soon as I felt your deep, steady breathing.  For the months I have lived with you, it’s enough for me to tell that you were already in deep sleep.  I lifted my gaze a little and saw that the bedside clock read 2:57am.

I gently turned in bed and found you sleeping on your side.  You looked so calm, so peaceful.

So _impossibly beautiful._

Out of habit I gently brushed your hair away from your face, and the way your skin glowed while bathed in moonlight was still so breathtaking to me.

-

_Car is parked_

_Bags are packed_

_But what kind of heart doesn’t look back?_

_-_

For the past few weeks I noticed that you no longer watched me the way you used to…you can’t even tell if I was asleep anymore.  Somehow, I wished that you were merely tired from all the work that you do.

The way that the moon played with the shadows on the bridge of your nose and the curve of your lips reminded me so much of the day when you took my hand and placed a gentle kiss on it, asking me, oh so romantically, if we could be together for the rest of our lives.

For the first time in my life, I was so happy, Jumin.

You made me the happiest girl in the world.

_-_

_At the comfortable glow from the porch,_

_The one I will still call yours?_

_-_

I couldn’t help but smile wistfully as I traced your features with my eyes.

Committing you to memory.

One last time.

_-_

_All those words came undone and now I’m not the only one_

_Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns_

_-_

My eyes caught a glint on your left hand.   _Our wedding ring._

It’s that same hand that held me when we kissed the first time.  The same hand that took mine and placed the ring on my finger.  That same hand that held me close night after night in passion.

_The same hand that snaked around her waist as you held her close._

I bit my tears back. I cannot allow myself to be weak now. _Not now._

_-_

_All I have, all I need_

_He’s the air I would kill to breathe_

_-_

I gently rolled over to my side of the bed, careful not to wake you up.  I wanted to look back to check on you, but I was so afraid that I might just come back into your arms.

_There’s no point in me coming back into those arms that have held someone else._

But good God, I just wanted to pretend that I did not see you holding her close with your arm wrapped around her slim waist, our wedding ring glinting against the light as she gently laid a finger on your lips that _promised me forever._

-

_Hang my head, break my heart built from all I have torn apart_

_And my burden to bear is a love I can’t carry anymore_

_-_

As quietly as possible I opened the closet that had everything you had given me since we were together.  I tried desperately to fight back tears.   _There will be time for tears later._

Rummaging through the darkness I finally found what I was looking for.  A small bag of the bare essentials I needed, and clothes that I actually owned.   _None of the things in this bag was given by you._

I dressed up in jeans and t-shirt.   _Something I haven’t worn for a long time._  I looked at myself in the mirror and straight into my tired, swollen eyes.

_Do it._

I slung my bag over my shoulder and turned towards the bed.  I gingerly opened the bedside drawer and found the letter I have written a few nights ago, addressed to you.  I gently laid the letter right next to the bedside clock.

Then I wrapped my fingers around the wedding ring on my finger.

I made the mistake of taking a glimpse of you.  

_It hurts to be here._

_I only wanted love from you._

I felt my tears roll down my cheeks as I closed my eyes and pulled the ring out of my finger, and laid it on top of the letter on the bedside table.

-

_All I have, all I need_

_He’s the air I would kill to breathe_

_Holds my love in his hands, still I’m searching for something_

_Out of breath, I am left hoping someday_

_-_

“Goodbye, Jumin.”

I made one last glance at you and gently closed the door.

-

_I’ll breathe again_


End file.
